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To get the full experience, you should probably go after midnight, but if 3 a. What struck me and my partner upon going inside was the smell.
The incense was all-consuming. The olfactory flood — cinnamon-scented, I think — was apparently augmented by a lack of any formal ventilation system inside the building apart from ceiling fans.
My eyes and ears were just as swamped as my nose. The brightest plastic colors imaginable — pink, black, white, and gold — branded each plastic package. A plethora of pliant penises surrounded the interior, which was about the size of a mall shoe store.
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Instead, artificial male genitalia hung at different flaccid and erect angles around the store, pointing you here and there, ranging in size from bachelorette-party-sippy-straw to what the Tips to have a long lasting relationship hell?
The pocket-pussies, on the other hand, were in contained areas along the walls — areas that were further stratified by the name of the porn actress whose equipment had served as inspiration.
The DVDs and porno-prints were at the southernmost part of the store, with titles that were creative to the point of being admirable in their misogyny. The vintage magazine section displayed bushes prominently.
The cashier, who was Nice girl that tastes good the owner based on the amount of personal investment in his voice, stood above us and observed from behind an elevated display booth like a happy king. All this is to say that there was something very adult about this adult store.
The Toy Box was an experience, but it was hard not to be ironic and cynical about the campiness of what I saw. Going to a sex shop ironically might be a novel trend for hipsters to enjoy, but for me it was Antique french iron bed.
Dear sex column readers, I offer this article as a way of introducing myself, Humpfree Blowhard. The only entrance was through the back door. Leave a Reply Cancel reply.
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